These days, young people really don’t have any appreciation for classical old Christmas folklore. They only care about their Santa Clause and their Krampus and such. However, they really don’t even know about the good old child-eating pot-licking creatures of yore.
- The Mari Lwyd
The mari Lwyd, as the image shows, is a FLOATING HORSE SKULL IN WHITE CLOTH. At least, that’s what it is in folklore, but usually, it’s just a guy and his friends trying to get some beer. This one is somewhat known, because you have to rap battle it to keep your beer. That’s right.
Basically, it sings about how you should let him in, and you sing excuses back at him about how you can’t do just that. If you lose, he raids your pantry and drinks your beer. So, if you live in Southern Wales, you’d better think of starting a career as a rapper.
- The Yule Lads
Other rather well-known creatures are the Yule lads! Coming from Iceland, each has an extremely creative name such as spoon-licker (who licks spoons), pot-scraper (who scrapes leftovers in pots to eat them), or bowl-licker (just try and guess what he does). Here is a complete list of them from Wikipedia:
|Harasses sheep, but is impaired by his stiff peg-legs.
|Hides in gullies, waiting for an opportunity to sneak into the cowshed and steal milk.
|Abnormally short. Steals pans to eat the crust left on them.
|Steals and licks wooden spoons. Is extremely thin due to malnutrition.
|Steals leftovers from pots
|Hides under beds, waiting for someone to put down their askur (a type of bowl with a lid used instead of dishes), which he then steals.
|Likes to slam doors, especially during the night, waking people up
|Has a great affinity for skyr (similar to yogurt)
|Hides in the rafters and snatches sausages that are being smoked
|A snoop who looks through windows in search of things to steal
|Has an abnormally large nose and an acute sense of smell which he uses to locate leaf bread (laufabrauð)
|Uses a hook to steal meat
|Follows children in order to steal their candles (which were once made of tallow and thus edible)
Their “arrival” and “departure” comes from the fact that each occurs during the last 23 days of Yule.
(Mask made to represent « her »)
Perchta is a really nice Christmas folklore creature! She lives in the mountains and has a foot that looks like a duck’s from spinning too much thread. If you’ve been a good child/servant/other, she’ll leave you a shiny silver nickel in your shoe! However, if you’ve been bad or have not eaten your traditional Christmas meal of fish and rice gruel, she’ll do the ever-normal action of SLITTING YOUR STOMACH OPEN, RIPPING OUT YOUR ORGANS AND FILLING YOU UP WITH STRAW AND ROCKS UNTIL YOU’RE AS PLUMP AS YOU WERE BEFORE SHE STARTED. As I said before, perfectly normal, isn’t it? Who knows what she does with those organs? However, my guess is that intestines are a good replacement for thread if you run out.
- For our last one, we have one so unknown that I bet that I am currently the only person who knows about it. It’ssssssssss…
As you can see, this character is very unknown. It comes into your room at night when Christmas time comes, and kidnaps you, so that he can whip you.
Seriously though, the part I actually wanted to write about was his backstory, because it is extremely horrifying.
So: he starts off as a butcher. He sees 3 wealthy kids going to their rich christian school, and kidnaps them. This is where the story diverges slightly: either he just murders them and their family and takes their money, or he kidnaps the children, cuts them up, boils them in a pot, and EATS CHILD STEW.
Afterwards, Santa comes up, makes him repent, has him be his assistant blah blah blah
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY
WHICH OF THESE YULE LADS EATS PIE CRUSTS LEFT IN PANS? (you aren’t allowed to scroll up for this)
- SHEEP-COTE CLOD